Wanted: 2 Boys To Kill Zombies

On our way to California for the Nike Women N+TC Tour, Jen Men and I made a number of awesome plans. The first was a backpacking trip to Central America in March 2016. The second was a zombie killing adventure!

Basically, Fear Farm in Phoenix is holding a special Zombie Apocalypse event. You get a team and they toss you into the city where you live out a real life zombie apocalypse and pretend you’re the star of The Walking Dead.

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Naturally Jen Men and I got 4 tickets for the Special Ops Mission that includes a military grade infrared laser training weapon. Because we’re trying to actually win this event we’re recruiting 2 boys who have the proper training and expertise for a zombie apocalypse. This isn’t some Babe Brigade kickball shit, we’re not trying to go 0-14 this time.

If interested, please promptly fill out and return the attached application.

Application to Kill Zombies with 2 Pretty & Awesome Babes.

Personal Information

Name:                                                         Nickname:

Phone Number:                                       Instagram Handle:

Questions

  1. How many times have you won an intramural championship?
  2. Have you ever been nominated laser tag MVP?
  3. How much can you bench press?
  4. How do you feel about cardio?
  5. What is your opinion on the GOP?
  6. Have you killed more bucks in real life or in buck hunter?
  7. How many different types of knots can you tie?
  8. How many seconds does it take you to reload a gun?
  9. How many seconds does it take you to shotgun a beer?
  10. Do you understand tactical hand signals?
  11. How many warrants do you have out for your arrest?
  12. Can you drive a stick shift and control the radio at the same time?

Bonus question: blondes or brunettes?

Multiple Choice

  1. When the buzzer sounds, what is the first thing you do?
    1. Find shelter, you cant stay safe without a safe house
    2. Get a bunch of ammo, stock pile it and sit with your gun
    3. Find a buddy, two can survive better than one
  2. In the case that your town is over ran with zombies, where do you hide?
    1. On the top of Walmart, they have all the supplies you need
    2. In a bedroom closet, they’ll never find you there
    3. In a frozen yogurt store, if you’re gonna die might as well die a fatty
  3. You find a bag full of supplies but can only take one thing, what do you take?
    1. Duct tape
    2. Knife
    3. Rope
  4. Jen Men is attacked by a zombie, what do you do?
    1. Run, every man for themselves
    2. Jump in front to save her, but get bit by a zombie in the attempt and die a hero
    3. Save her life, but have to ditch all your ammo, food and supplies in the process

Short Essay Section

In one paragraph or less and concluding the paragraph with a hashtag, please summarize what happened the last time you had *only one* beergarita.

*please include photo at the time of submission.

For those of you that aren’t convinced that this is going to be the most EPIC experience EVER check out this video and reconsider.

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