Have you ever heard the story of the rabbit and the hare? Cool, this is going to be nothing like that. In honor of (insert random made up holiday here) I’m throwing it back to my college days at NAU with a good old drunk story.
Flagstaff has a number of awesome bars to rage at Wed-Sun (because weekends start Wednesday, right El Hefe?). But no matter where you were everyone ended up hammered at San Felipes at 1:30am for their last drink.
One night at Sans, I was chatting (slamming jager shots) with this boy named Colin. Colin was from out of town and this was his first trip to Flagstaff to visit his brother. After the bars closed, everyone came back to my house to after party. We continued drinking and eventually passed out. Colin later wakes up on my couch, no-one around, hungover, obviously not remembering what happened the last night and the first thing he sees is Tilly eating a lunchable on the floor. I lived in a frat house.
Flash forward to when Colin was telling his brother about the ridiculous night he had. Of course he showed him the picture of a cat eating a lunchable, but he also told him how he found a number in his phone named “The Mayor of Flagstaff” but had no clue who it was.
Turns out that Colin’s brother is Brenden, a guy I’ve known since I was a baby in college. Brenden AKA Sherlock Homes knew I was the prettiest and most popular in Flagstaff and knew I loved shots of jager so naturally he figured out The Mayor was ME!…. JK he called the number and asked who it was.
After putting everything together, two things were clear: I convinced Collin that I was indeed the Mayor of Flagstaff, and Tilly can finish an entire lunchable in only a few bites (proud momma right here).
Side note: another time when Brenden and I went to SuperCross I was super hungover when he picked me up, so he stopped and got me an egg-mcmuffin (what a great friend!), and he also got Tilly one too. Took her a little longer to eat than a lunchable, but she loved it!
About 2 years later (not kidding, it took this long) I was inducted into Brother Chat (a group chat Colin, Brenden and their other brother Brian have going) for being absolutely hilarious and awesome. JK I got Brenden drunk in Vegas and took advantage of his vulnerability. Brother Chat is my 1st funniest group chat, and they continue to address me as The Mayor.
*I don’t care if you guys have respectable jobs and are in positions of power: names have not been changed because this is freaking hilarious.