In a world of tinder nightmares where exactly are babes supposed to find stud boyfriends these days? Now I know your mothers probably told you you’ll meet a nice boy at the grocery store but this just isn’t going to happen. Listen, I’ve been to Sprouts on a Sunday and there are PLENTY of hot guys running around that place, but never once have I gotten date out of grocery shopping.
Oh, I see you’re buying red apples, well I really like the green ones, maybe we can buy both, get married, and go have babies before Monday.
This does not happen. And on that note, whoever told you Starbucks is a good place to meet guys is also lying to you. It takes the barista exactly .38 seconds to make me a venti iced black coffee. Ladies, if you’ve figured out how to get a guy in .38 seconds please FREAKING HELP ME.
ENTER: the ladies dream to dating.
Here’s what happened Tinder met this girl Emma Stone AKA Fema(nist) Emma and they had a baby and that baby is BUMBLE. It’s basically Tinder but puts all the control in the girls hands. Yes, it’s an iPhone app, calm down.
Here’s how it works: you still swipe left and right for the guys you do and do not think are hot. You can still see pictures (yes more dogs), and of course age, location as well as a witty (or sometimes extremely dumb) bio.
Here’s where it gets good: the GIRL has ONLY 24 hours to make the first move or the boy disappears forever … DUN DUN DUN. Even worse there is this little clock ticket that really puts the pressure on and shows you how much time you have left.
Boys on the east coast have been bumbling like crazy lately! It’s not really taken off in Scottsdale yet but thats why I’m here to tell you that it will re: spring training 2016 #DontSayIDidntTellYouSo so you should definitely download the app now and get yourself acquainted.
TBH: I’d even say the guys on Bumble are funnier then the guys on Tinder.
And if you’re one of those girls who is afraid to make the first move just do this: wait till the clock gets close to 1 hour left then message the guy this
Before I lose you forever, I figured I might as well give you one last chance to impress me.
Not only will the boy not disappear but it turns the tables on him to “impress” you ie: tell you the funniest joke he’s ever heard.
Hey! Whats that over there!? (points to the other side of the room) Oh! Thats the flow! You should go with it!