UPDATE: so I wrote this blog a while back, and never posted it… now, sitting here eating 2000 some calories worth of chocolate covered strawberries (thanks J!), and having to be in a swimsuit for Hype Girl’s birthday party tomorrow I think it’s time to revisit the Whole30 and get recommitted. So Whole30 here we go… again.


After a weekend of wine tasting, pizza eating, and ice cream sampling I am feeling blah. very blah. I’ve been saying I’m going to start the Whole30 for awhile now, and the day has finally come! Now that I’ve gotten past a couple of (awesome) vacations, my birthday, and a holiday known for BBQs, I am ready to go!

Step 1: clean out your pantry. Literally, everything MUST go. That ice cream in the back of the freezer, the chocolate chips you “only” use for baking cookies, any boxes of cake mixes, sprinkles, or candy you have laying around. Get them all out. I’ve attempted the Whole30 before, and on day 10 I found myself picking the chocolate chips out of a box of cake mix. Yep, it was a low point.

Step 2: get committed. The Whole30 is 30 days of no cheating, no mistakes, and no slip ups. You have to be 100% committed and 100% serious. Basically I just told a bunch of people so I’ve committed to not only myself but them to. I also made J promise no matter how much I begged, cried and pleaded to not let me cheat. My weakness is chocolate. I like to have a small piece of chocolate after a meal, just a bite, but it’s become an addiction.

Step 3: suffer. Get ready, from what I’ve heard it’s extremely difficult to completely a Whole30, but I have been told, at the end, it’s absolutely worth it.

Whole30 – The rules

  • no grain
  • no diary
  • no fun
  • no processed food
  • no added sugar
  • no fun
  • no paleo pancakes
  • no paleo pizza
  • no fun
  • no fun
  • no fun

Basically it’s easy, eat food, don’t enjoy it, suffer, suffer, suffer, hopefully get skinny, fight a sugar dragon, hopefully don’t get divorced because you’re a raging bitch, suffer, suffer, suffer. See easy.

… fast forward 30 days and I did it! I must say it was life changing.

Week 1: felt like crap. I was tired, sluggish, had headaches, and my face started to break out a bit. All as expected as this is supposedly your body detoxing. Kill me.

Week 2: still felt icky, started REALLY craving sweets, but stayed strong and didn’t cheat. Towards the end of week 2 my coworker brought in donuts and much to my surprise I didn’t HAVE to have any. Take that sugar dragon! This was a pretty high point for me, as before I literally HAD to have whatever cookie, donut, bagel, sweet was in front of me. I was powerless to my sugar addiction. I know, pathetic.

Week 3: the magic is starting to happen but I still felt a pretty tired. I was sleeping about 9 hours a night but just couldn’t shake this tired feeling, even though I was drinking coffee too. After some review I figured out I wasn’t eating enough. If you think about, it takes ALOT of chicken and vegetables to get to the some 1400 calories I should be eating, plus calories for any workouts or activities. So I started up-ing my food and by the end of week 3 we were grovin!

Week 4: DONE DONE DONE and feeling amazing. I fell asleep so easy, woke up easy, and was feeling great all day. My skin was super clear and bright, and I even noticed I wasn’t as reliant on coffee. I did decrease my workouts from approximately 5 days a week to just 3, but that was more of a schedule thing. Much to my surprise I didn’t lose any muscle, in fact I gained .4 lbs of muscle… and lost 2.5 lbs of fat! WHOLY CRAP!

Week 5: tequila, cookie, ice cream, pizza, tummy ache, death. Basically ruined the whole thing. I suck at life. Bye.

Week 6: time to get back on track. While I LOVED the Whole30 I have to admit I’m just not sure it is sustainable for me. I like tacos and I LOVE tequila. I’m going to continue the no grain no dairy part of the Whole30 but allow myself to have red wine or tequila. I’ll also allow myself a snack on special occasions (birthday parties, etc) where, while on the Whole30 I was very strict. Gotta make it work, ya know. But basically the Whole30 is bae.


So there you have it. The Whole30 rocks and I’d do it again. In fact I really think this is more of a lifestyle change for me. It really helped me understand how my body reacts to certain foods… and the answer is not good.

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