If you’re not drinking matcha, I don’t know WTF is wrong with you. But seriously… I’ve been drinking so much matcha I’m about to turn GREEN!
- It’s super food on crack. Seriously, acai berries are SO LAST YEAR. There is this thing called the oxygen radical absorbance capacity (I knowwwwww) and matcha is on the top of this list with 1573 points? units? idk but acai only have 60.
- It’ll help you poop. In the very possible situation you end up in LA for the Nike Tour and you can’t poop, just get a matcha! It’s full of fiber!
- It will cure your hangover! Let me say this again. Matcha cures hangovers! Green tea is known to protect the liver from toxic chemicals AKA all those fireball shots you slammed last night #21Again
- It fights cancer. What more do you need?
- It will save your marriage. Matcha contains L-Theanine which makes you happy, and happy people don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t.
- It’ll make you skinny! Matcha = Green tea + crack. So basically it boost your metabolism. Boom skinny.
- It’s a chill pill replacement. If one of your friends is getting a little hangry and you don’t have any snickers left just give them a matcha. Matcha is known to calm the mind and relax the body.
- It’ll boost your 401k. Since matcha only cost 87 cents you’ll have more money to put into you retirement plan.
- It’ll keep you young. Pretty much all of Japan drinks matcha and they all look like they’re 12 years old. It’s science.
- It’ll get you pumped up! HELLLLLLO energy rush!
Here’s the kicker: you can’t get matcha from Starbucks. According to Hulk
Their matcha powder’s package ingredients list (in order of prevalence): sugar, green tea powder
If you want the Hulk approved matcha you have to get this one here. It’s on amazon prime so you can have it tomorrow and be drinking matcha in no time!